Let’s talk about stress!
We know, it’s a well-covered subject, and we are all used to feeling a little bit stressed from time to time. Not all stress is bad, a little stress can be good, it can motivate us to take action and get things done.
However, left unchecked, prolonged long-term stress can wreak havoc on our mind and body and in the long term, can result in mental and physical health problems.
As a carer for my son, I am used to stress, and I think I cope well. But, am I so used to it I don’t always notice when it’s getting too much?
How I manage stress as a carer
Every month I visit my osteopath. I do this because I know I carry stress in my body and it helps with the pains and stiffness that build up over the weeks. Last week I went along to my appointment feeling ok. The therapist asked me how I was and I said everything was fine.
It was only when she started to treat me, I realised something was up. As she started to work on my neck and shoulders I became aware of how painful and tight they were.
I know that I tend to hold stress in my neck and shoulders yet it was only when I started to talk through what had been going on I realised how stressed I had been.
Worrying is not my thing, and I don’t suffer with anxiety but several weeks ago I was really worried about Elijah. He did not sleep for four nights, and that consumed my whole week.
The following week, he then had 10 seizures which ended in a hospital admission. I felt calm at the time, and he came out the next day, which is not unusual for Elijah. Yet a few days later, he ended up back in hospital again and it was then that everything hit me. I felt all the stress and emotions that had been building up over the weeks, and it floored me. I could not think straight. I worried, was anxious, and felt emotionally drained and had become irritable, with no tolerance, and snappy.
Because that was a few weeks back, I thought I was ok, but the stress had built up in my body hence the pain as the Osteopath went to work on me.
I am sure many of you can recognize this pattern. You are coping fine; you feel ok; you deal with what you have to deal with and then one thing happens, it could be a small thing, and you fall apart. The stress and worry has built up - and it has to come out!
When we don’t listen to the signs, don’t stop to check in with ourselves this is what happens.
As carers, we juggle a lot of responsibilities, with very little down time. When we're experiencing stress this can start to impact how we think, feel, behave and it can also start to impact our physical wellbeing too.
Here are just some of the ways that stress can start to affect our day-to-day life:
How we think
An inability to focus/concentrate (brain fog)
Difficulty making decisions
Poor memory retention and/or recollection
Constant worrying
Disorganisation
How we feel
Overwhelm
A sense of powerlessness
Moodiness/irritability
Guilt without cause
Loneliness/isolation
How we behave
Tearfulness
Relationship problems
Social withdrawal
Increased alcohol/caffeine intake
Changes in appetite/eating
Our physical health
Headaches
Tiredness/fatigue
Sleeping difficulties
Digestion problems (IBS)
Racing pulse/rapid breathing
Tension and pain in our body
The majority of us will have experienced many of these symptoms at some point in our life, often just from the demands of our day to day modern lives. This goes to show how common and normal these stress symptoms are.
However, this doesn't mean that it's easy or comfortable when we experience them. In fact, when we experience symptoms of stress they make us feel quite uncomfortable, making our daily life feel like more of a struggle. As these symptoms start to increase in duration or severity this can become very debilitating and start to have a serious impact on both our physical and mental health.As carers, this can then affect our ability to care for the ones we love.
So what can you do about it?
It’s really important to check in with yourself weekly, and daily if you can. Notice how you are feeling, is there pain in your body? Are you more tired than normal? How are you communicating to your loved ones or health professionals?
If you can, take some time out for you. Do what you need to do to rest. This could be taking a walk, spending time with friends, going out, meditating, taking exercise or simply having a 10 minute nap in the day.
It’s important to not feel guilty about this.
If you can ask for help then do so.
Get professional support
We know this is not always possible, but there is support out there,! It could be talking to your GP, a counsellor or therapist or connecting with a local carers group or forum.
Our Coaching for Carers Programme can help. It runs for 6 weeks and helps to clear stress from your mind and gives you the tools to find solutions to day to day challenges. Our next course starts on Wednesday 1st March and you can register here.